Checked Baggage

"Excuse me sir, is that a weapon in your bag?"

"Nope.  It's a Crowns stick."

"Looks more like a sawed-off broomstick to me."

"Precisely.  Is that illegal?"

"I suppose I could misconstrue about a half dozen federal laws and consider it illegal."

"I'd prefer you didn't."

"I'm sure you would."

"Should I just touch the box and get this over with?"

"Are you sexually harassing me?"

"Do you feel sexually harassed?"

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to step into our private screening room."

"I'm sorry to hear that.  Ask away."

"Pardon me?"

"Gesundheit.  May I go now?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're excused.  These are not the droids you are looking for."

"Why are you quoting Star Wars?"

"He can go about his business."

"Sir, you are under arrest."

"How many outs is that?"